Tarts, Cream Pies, Tur-duck-hen and life lessons.

 Easter this year was pretty significant..
 it was only my second without my parents, my first being when i lived in texas and i opted to go down to mexico and work in an orphanage for the weekend to ease the loneliness.
this year it was just the kids, us up here, and i think we did a fairly smashing job.
Justin's lady love Jill was gracious enough to host, and provided a lovely Tur-duck-Hen ( chicken inside a duck inside a turkey) sound like heaven? cause it was.

* side note, one of the few ways to my heart is turkey ( not lunchmeat turkey) but roasted turkey.  God gave my mentor a word for me a few months ago and He actually used a turkey as the example in it because 1) He knew how much i love them and knew i would know it was from Him and 2) i had never told my Mentor my thoughts or deep love of turkey. it was a simple word, but affirming and well timed, but i digress.

 My job, as per usual for family meals was the dessert.
 i am tired of being a one note, and while i love that everyone loves my apple pies and cheesecake, i've been bored, so i decided to branch out..

       I decided to make a fresh fruit tart and a chocolate cream pie. Both something i had never attempted.
 i would post the recipe's, but since i didn't deviate from them at all they aren't mine to claim.
 but i just did an internet search and used Paula Dean's fresh fruit Tart recipe and allrecipes.com for the chocolate cream pie.

      For those of you wanting to do the chocolate cream pie, a word of warning when baking your pie crust. remember to weigh it down before putting it in the oven. i did not and was surprised to find a very puffy crust with the sides all scrunched down. with that being said, also don't put pie dough onto a hot pie plate. this also causes severe complications. Even with those little missteps i forged ahead and feel that i provided my awaiting public with a very yummy chocolate dessert. although i feel that the next time i make it i would like to make the whipped cream chocolate as well.

    For those of you wanting to make a tart but don't have a tart pan,  please don't fret, i simply used my springform pan and it turned out wonderfully. i loved it and feel that its something i will make again and again. i do feel like i might switch up the fruit used, just to keep things fresh.

So it was with full bellies and full hearts we spent our easter, basking in the beautiful sunshine God had provided and reminiscing on where life had taken us in the past year. God has been so good to all of us, we are a lucky group. We've found community, love, hope, future. Its wonderful to tangibly see where God has been changing us and of the personal and communal growth of us as a family and friends. I think back to a year ago and i would have never been brave enough to attempt a tart, or a cream pie for that matter, but i've become more brave.. not just in my baking, but in every aspect of life. Last easter i was still living in fall river, so far away from my family and good community. i was lonely, sad and hurting. This year i am surrounded by good community, good friends and my family. I am happy, healthy, and actively engaging in my life. Every day i live life in the present, something i have only just now learned to do. There is something beautiful in the revelation that i am actively living out God's exact will for my life. that there is nothing missing, nothing i messed up. Everything IS as it should be...

so friends tell me about your life, where you are, where you want to be and what i can do to help you get where you want to be.

   

Hurry up and cook.

Last week i volunteered to make a meal for a lady i know due to the fact that she recently had surgery and isn't allowed to walk on her foot, which makes cooking for her family very difficult.
 This is not unusual for me, i am signed up at my church  to help out with meals if needed.

My problem last week was that i was simply uninspired to cook.
i was floundering and time was ticking. Finally i decided to throw together a lasagna and call it a day.
its simple, its filling and you can't really go wrong with cheese. But as i was driving to pick up the ingredients i realized  i was not in the mood to cook a lasagna either. OH MAN! whatever am i going to do now? with time ticking down and no food to make i was thinking a takeout pizza was going to be all i could offer. Luckily as i was pulling up to the market i decided to make a meatloaf.

Now i know what you are all thinking.. who makes meatloaf anymore? well  i do. Its one of life's best comfort foods and if done correctly completely savory.

so here is what i did.
i looked up an easy recipe on Allrecipes.com and proceeded to modify :

1 1/2 lbs ground beef ( i like to get 97%)
1 egg
1/2 large onion finely chopped ( recipe calls for 1 onion)
1 cup milk
1 cup dried bread crumbs
salt & pepper to taste
* now here is where i started to deviate
dried oregano to taste
dried basil to taste
a couple of shakes of dried mustard
smidge of ground cloves ( very little, but i like the taste)
knowing me i also added a few shakes of garlic powder but i don't remember
* if you are feeling creative this is the time to bust out the big guns and substitute the dried basil and oregano for fresh and then add a few good splashes of your favorite hot sauce for spice.

for the topping:
mix together
1/3 cup ketchup
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 teaspoons dried mustard.
mix well and put on the last 10 mins of baking or you can put it on for the whole hour, but i like it a little moist.

preheat the oven to 350 and cook for an hour.

as a side i made rosemary potato's. super simple, super yummy.

Diced  red potato's ( the amount is up to you, so the rest of the recipe is purely by sight)
rosemary
olive oil
salt.

put the diced potato's in a sturdy ziplock bag, add the olive oil ( roughly 1 1/2 tablespoons) you want the potatos well coated but not greasy. add in the rosemary and salt to taste. give the bag a good couple of shakes, check to see if the potatos look well covered in rosemary,  add more if needed and then let sit for at least 10 minutes to absorb the flavors.
these can also be cooked for about an hour at 350. throw them on a baking pan and in the oven right along side the meatloaf.

If you are like me then you love dessert and no meal is complete without it.
a simple option is an Apple Pie.
 and i will share my apple pie recipe with you all. this recipe is simple, yet every person that tries it says its the best apple pie they've ever had. i'm not sure what makes it that way, but its been tested again and again and never comes up wanting.

grab some pie crust from the market ( why make your own if you are low on time?)
6-7 granny smith apples, peeled, cored and sliced
1 cup sugar ( usually i do 2/3 brown, 1/3 white) i also usually put in a little under a cup.
2 tablespoons flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon plus a few good shakes
dash of nutmeg ( double dash if you love it like me)
dash of salt.
2 tablespoons butter diced.

mix all your dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl, i usually shake them ( tastes better) then add your apples and mix together.
 in a 9 inch pie pan roll out 1 pie crust, pile the apple mixture into it, place the diced butter all around and then put the other pie crust on top, pinching the edges with your pointer and thumb and putting 4 slits on the top for ventilation. sprinkle with large sugar ( i use sugar in the raw) just a smidge though.
 bake at 400 for 50 mins or until its a nice golden brown and you can hear it bubbling on the inside.
let cool and enjoy.

This meal got rave reviews from the family and even turned a non apple pie person into an apple pie lover so i hope you all enjoy!

Baking is how i think.

If hair is my creative outlet, then baking is how i think.
 Last spring when i was unemployed and trying to figure out my life, i did more baking than i ever had.
It became my 'thing' ; how i coped with the massive amounts of stress, failure, confusion and depression i was combating.  Before i started my baking spree i think i spent 4 or 5 straight days in my black leggings, never leaving the house, just simply sitting on the couch for days on end wondering what in the world i was going to do.

then i entered my chocolate baking phase:
 
Friends, i have found that there is nothing more soothing than standing over the stove melting chocolate to put in brownies, or a melt in your mouth chocolate cake, or a cheesecake or anything else that piqued my fancy. standing there smelling the soothing aroma's of that chocolate made me believe that i could achieve anything i attempted.

so on i went into the cheesecake phase:

 interestingly enough my attempts at cheesecake actually didn't start out as well as i had hoped.  I had been known up to that point for the pumpkin swirl cheesecake with a gingersnap crust i would make at thanksgiving and/or christmas. But i wanted to branch out, i wanted to be better. and my first attempt at a blueberry cheesecake failed. oh my how it failed. in texture, flavor ( too sweet) just everything. but i didnt let that stop me. i started experimenting with a chocolate swirl cheesecake with a chocolate crust. success! once again i felt like maybe i would make it, maybe i would survive

as i was going through all of these baking experiences i was also looking for jobs, an hour and a half from where i was currently living, so that i could move north. to be closer to my brothers and closer to the church i had come to love. the whole task was completely daunting. but i had known that close to my brothers was where i wanted to be, and i was going to take advantage of this opportunity to make to move.
    I feel that i was saved from complete insanity by a handful of great people that really came along side  and helped me out. first off was my lovely friend Nichole who lived right down the street and was gracious enough to share her life with me for the few months we lived so close. our weekly walks with her son may have been my only saving on some days.
    Also in the mix was my current roommate Alicia, who was plugging away up northing trying to find a place for us to live that was within our budget. Words cannot begin to express how much of a rockstar she has been in my life and the gratitude i feel towards her. She is, simply put, an amazing woman and i'm grateful for her in my life.
 Thirdly i had a friend who kept me entertained; at times daily, via Facebook messages of just the most random, hilarious things. those messages were something to look forward too, a bright spot amidst the moving boxes, the stress of job searching, the depression of having no job and the overall overwhelmingness of it all.
The three of them became my lifeline, my connection to the outside world. a reason to actually get dressed and not wear the same thing i had been wearing for days on end. and at times they gave me the swift kick in the butt that i needed to keep myself in forward motion. and forward motion i kept. i did get a job, 3 in fact and i did move, to the most amazing of apartments and the life i live here is so vastly different of the life i had down on the south shore. But the one thing i have kept is my baking, but now i bake when i am happy, i baked when my heart was breaking and i didn't know what else to do, i bake now when i am content. simply put; now i bake. 


Now when i bake i know that whatever problem i may have, what ever issues i have rattling around inside my brain, i will have an answer by the time i'm finished baking. and not only an answer but also a delicious treat to reward me.

 what do you use to think? to clear your head? to look at your problems from another perspective?